What an Unhealthy Relationship with Food Can Look Like
An unhealthy relationship with food doesn’t always look like what you might expect. It’s not just extreme weight loss or visibly disordered eating. Often, it shows up quietly – in thoughts, habits, and feelings that begin to take over your life.
Some common signs include:
– Obsessive thoughts about food — constantly thinking about what you’ll eat, what you shouldn’t eat, or feeling anxious if plans change.
– Tying your worth to eating habits or body size — feeling “good” or “bad” depending on what you’ve eaten.
– All-or-nothing thinking — being stuck in cycles of restriction and bingeing, where eating “too much” leads to guilt and punishment.
– Avoiding specific foods or social situations — cancelling plans to avoid eating in front of others or feeling panic at the idea of eating something “unplanned” or “bad”.
– Counting calories — obsessively tracking calories, labelling foods as “clean” or “toxic,” or never allowing flexibility.
These behaviours can be symptoms of disordered eating or a developing eating disorder, even if you don’t fit a specific diagnosis. Eating difficulties are often rooted in deeper struggles with body image, self-worth, perfectionism, control, and emotional pain.
While challenging, it is possible to build a healthier relationship with food. Here are a
few tools:
– Challenge food rules – Notice any “rules” you follow (e.g. no carbs after 6pm). Ask yourself: Where did this belief come from? Is it helping me or creating stress and
guilt?
– Reframe your inner voice – Instead of judging yourself after meals, try practicing self-talk that’s compassionate and neutral. For example: “I honoured my hunger” or
“All foods can fit in a balanced life.”
– Eat regularly – Skipping meals or delaying eating can increase cravings, bingeing, and mental preoccupation with food. Regular, predictable meals and snacks can help
stabilise both body and mood.
– Clean up your social media accounts – Unfollow any accounts that reinforce your unhealthy relationship with food, trigger comparisons, guilt, or “body perfection” pressures. Instead, follow recovery-positive, body-neutral, or diverse content that supports healing.
Remember, you don’t have to take steps towards recovery alone. Speaking with an eating disorder-informed psychologist can help you unpack the emotional and behavioural patterns keeping you stuck and help you move toward healing at your own pace.
Written By:
Harbir Kaur
Provisional Psychologist
